10 Lessons for 2021!
2020 played us girl. I mean played us like a Harlem Globetrotter at half-time! The lack of physical contact 2020 robbed from us caused our friendships and relationships to become strained. Being a full time mother, spouse, employee, teacher, nurse and so on, tested our patience and endurance throughout this pandemic! I know women who enjoy their alone time and they were not okay lol! This year forced us to shift and change in ways we didn’t even know were possible. The hard work isn’t over though. Some of those lessons didn’t stick, and some you flat out avoided.
Well…… healing is an active word, and I can’t call myself a good big sis if I don’t call you on your bullshit.
Here are 10 lessons I am reminding you to take into 2021 to promote healthier friendships and relationships!
Say What You Need.
Look, I know you grew up in this fairy tale world where people are supposed to know you need help. Even when they ask you and you say no?. You tired of being tired yet? SAY YOU NEED HELP!! Don’t lie to yourself about them not doing it right either. You turning a couple towels around so they are facing the same direction is still easier than folding all the damn laundry. Work Smarter!
Stop Giving People Your Password.
You sit online and wish for a man who buys flowers and takes you on trips. You are giving people the password to play you! A man should be interested in you by how you take care of yourself and handle business, not how you can take care of him. Period. Full Stop. Remember, marriage mostly benefits men. Telling men what you like will attract men pretending to be those things. Stop giving out your password! Instead, see if he can guess it. This method allows you to learn who is genuine, and who is playing a game.
Keep Receipts on Friendships.
I know that it is frowned upon, but hear me out. My friendship receipts are for accountability on my end. I get easily distracted, so I make sure I am showing up for my friends who have shown up for me. I live a lot of life and have a lot of friends. Its important to me to water my gardens, not just enjoy getting watered. An offshoot of that process is that you can trim your own dead weight too. ?
Leave When You Need To, Not When You Have To.
The universe will give you 32 signs and your hard-headed ass will still barrel head first into that brick wall…again. You work for money. Not love or fellowship. If your job isn’t paying the bills, get another one! If your spouse isn’t pulling their weight, boot them! Don’t wait to be devastated before you make those hard decisions.
Address Why You Are Really Mad.
We are leaving holding the pussy hostage in 2020! If you are mad about your workload, address that issue. Don’t withhold sex as a punishment for something else. Its not a “I’m not in the mood” thing either because your big sis is here to remind you that you eat when you aren’t hungry.?
If You Want a Six Figure Man, Become One.
Even if you don’t find him on the way, you will still have six figures.
List Your Non-Negotiables.
You cant have everything your way, but you can have your base things. You need to know what these things are. Think about it. If you need a man to dote on you, choose that type of man. It may seem dumb, but if that’s what you need, that’s what you deserve! Not getting something you fundamentally need will not make you happy. Be honest about the things that you require for a healthy existence.
Have the Kind of Sex You Desire.
Women frequently push their desires aside to focus on pleasing. STOP! You don’t have an infinite sex life. Don’t waste the good years pretending to have a headache. Try new things and learn what you like. Times a ticking!
Cheat Back Sis.
This is for the women who have built too much in their partnerships and don’t plan to leave if the spouse cheats. Cheat back. You need to offset the impending idea that he cheated because you are inadequate. Let him know you forgive him, but it comes with a pass. If he can handle that, he can come back. If he can’t, then you know he thinks less of you for doing the same. I said what I said.
You Are Not Perfect.
I know that you know that, but act like you know that. You know that you will make mistakes, but when you make them, you beat yourself up. Realize in the moment that you just messed up and this is one of the times you couldn’t be perfect.
These 10 Lessons for 2021 should continue throughout your new year. Take it from your big sis. The work isn’t done.