What is “Sexy?”

With People magazine naming Michael B. Jordan as Sexiest Man Alive 2020, it sparked an odd thought about the fluidity of sexy. The word itself brings a very defined picture in your mind. Long legs, abs, that wagon he/she is dragging. Yes, the endless pics of Rihanna, and the Lakeith Stanfields, and DeWayne Johnsons come to mind, but doesn’t your partner make a Cameo appearance on that list? They most likely will of course, but, how is that possible is the real question? How can two people who look completely different, both be sexy?

Define…

To be sexy means that when someone LOOKS at you, they are confronting this urge to want to have their way with your body. Your presence makes them want to engage in “the sex” with you lol. Sexy is an energy. It’s not a lip color from Fenty, it’s the curve of the lips is has graced. It’s not the tailored Express shirt, it’s the way it makes his arms seem 3x as large. Sexy is not how you look, its how your energy moves and responds to stimuli. It’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Prince.

“Well, my partner isn’t Prince so?” None of us could ever be so lucky (if you slept with Prince, don’t tell me. I hate you) The reason you can look at your partner and say they are just as sexy, if not more, is because when you LOOK at them, you see everything that you have grown together. You catch all those little unknown cute things they don’t even know they are doing. The way she bites her lip when she thinking, or the way he so passionate about his grill skills. Its an energy and connection. I can look at my husbands wild nappy hair and get flushed because I know it was a part of his journey to letting go. Him taking that journey, and subsequently ending up here with me, is hella sexy to me!

Energy…

So yes, sexy is fluid! It is not a static concept. It doesn’t change with size, or amount of hair. Sexy lives in the way you react to stimuli and the energy around you. You will also develop different sexual triggers as you grow and learn. Sometimes those triggers will be ridiculous (I have a thing about gum popping…..don’t ask lol), and that is okay too. What we find as sexy ebbs and flows like water. I have never personally lusted over MBJ, but I’m not ready to say I haven’t slid titty first into Idris Elba’s DM’s before. Hey, you like what you like.

Oh yea, and be kind to yourselves. Someone, somewhere thinks you are sexy……and they are right!