Woman meditating and talking to self

The Voice in Self-Talk

Is Your Inner Voice Nice?

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to reign in the negative voice in self-talk when I found myself defending myself from myself, lol. Now it’s June, and I have had to point out the ways in which we influence ourselves in how we talk to ourselves at work and amongst friends. There is power in your self-talk.

I don’t consider myself a negative person, and my self-esteem is relatively high, so I wasn’t sure where this came from. How long has it been going on? The defining moment for me was last winter. I was washing clothes throughout the day, and in the evening, I said out loud, “I need to get my lazy ass up and put those clothes in the dryer.” My husband said, “Your clothes aren’t in the dryer; mine are,” I just stared for a second as if someone was going to make me apologize, lol. 

I immediately went into my little brain file cabinet and asked where that was coming from. Why was I talking to myself like that even if I did leave the clothes in the dryer? It sent me into me, and now I’m wondering if it’s always been that way. How long have I been saying mean stuff out loud about myself?

Who Is That Voice?

They say self-talk and inner voice are the same thing, but I can’t entirely agree. What I think and what comes from my mouth are two different experiences for me. My inner voice tells me I’m brave and beautiful. Those are things that I know. My voice in self-talk are words that feel like they need to leave my body. Why do those mean ass words need to leave my body? The first step is to pinpoint the voice. I figured it was my mom’s, but it doesn’t feel like her. My mom was a hellion, but this didn’t feel right. My father would never, so I know it wasn’t him. Genuinely, I could not pinpoint it. 

The Conclusion

One thing about me is that the why is less important than the impact. I never figured out where it came from, and honestly, I don’t care. At the end of the day, it needs to be repaired, and that is my focus. I have caught myself a few more times using my voice in self-talk as a weapon, but now I loudly apologize to myself, too, because I deserve that. Remember the power of your self-talk and be kind to you, too.

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June 20, 2024