Types of Attraction


Yes, there are different types of attraction that humans (and maybe animals, who knows) experience. We have been taught to believe attraction is very linear and concise. That is simply untrue. This fallacy may contribute a great deal to the way we love, and understand love from others. You can feel each type of attraction for one person, or for different people. Also, desire is based on presets formed in you long before you meet this person. Once you get to know someone, the attraction style can change, but a base level desire is formed pretty quickly when engaging with another person. Keep in mind, these different attraction styles may not be present in a relationship. You may have only one, you may have more, but none of them are linked together. They all occur individually.

There are 5 types of attraction and each one represents a different desire in you. Recognizing where the desire is coming from will help you decide whether the attraction is pure or toxic.

Sexual Attraction – This is only one of the attraction styles, but it is the most common one that people know. Sexual attraction is a desire for sexual activity with another person. It is perfectly normal to be in a relationship with one person and have a sexual attraction to someone else. It does not mean you will act on it, it just means that the attraction style exists.

Emotional Attraction – This attraction style is very intimate. It represents the desire to want to be emotionally present with someone. Its often present in healthy friendships and relationships as well. Think of sneaking off so you can tell your best friend some work tea that just cannot wait. Emotional attraction of varying levels can exist with multiple people at the same time.


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Physical Attraction – I know what you are thinking, and you are wrong lol. Physical attraction is a desire to be around other people and to be physically cared for by others. A mothers hug, or a kids sloppy smooches. Maybe a shoulder bump during laughter with your best friend, or laying your head in your partners lap may feel more comfortable. Its that drive that makes you want to physically touch others in a show of affection. This attraction style MAY NOT be present in romantic relationships. It’s science, sorry.

Aesthetic Attraction – This is the attraction that makes you do a double take when someone passes by. Although it is commonly linked with sexual attraction, it is not the same. If you have a thing for long hair and someone with long hair comes along, it doesn’t mean you want to knock knees with them. They contain an aesthetic that you find pleasing, that’s it. IDC how married I am, I am looking at Rihanna’s tits WHENEVER I can. I can love my husband, and also want to do nasty things to Lakieth Standfield. It is completely and scientifically normal.

Romantic Attraction – In this type of attraction, you want to be romantically involved with the individual, but sex is not required. You can want to give someone flowers because you care for them, with no expectation of sex in return. Cuddling, getting stuck up under your boo, wanting to wrap up in their body while you sleep. Those things that draw two people together to emotionally tend to each other is a romantic attraction.

There are other types of attraction that may fall under one of these umbrellas, but these are the basics. Hope you learned something!


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